we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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