i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
