I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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