sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
