Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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