she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
