Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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