I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize