Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
