Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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