Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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