Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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