3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
