roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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