It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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