I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
