Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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