first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Drunk is a universal language darling
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