There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
