I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
whose parrot is this?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
