I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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