We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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