Is it normal to miss your booty call?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
