So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
