We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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