The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
tell me about the fingering
Randomize