I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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