Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
God I need to hump something, right now.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
