How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
sex in a hospital.. check
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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