My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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