You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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