After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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