i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
