Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize