I wish I could punch you in the face.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
