I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
