I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
