You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
