the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
