The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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