So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i drank out of a bidet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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