And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
