I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
