i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
