On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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