I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Actions speak louder than pants.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize