I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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