Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize