I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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