Christians are straight up FREAKS
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you made out with another girl for some wings
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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