Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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