Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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