Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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