She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
