so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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