she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
