He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
