how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
