At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My bed smells like the plague
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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