OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
